Email: (from a family friend)
Isa. 41:10; 43:1-6 Zeph.3:17
This email was sent in response to my email about Papa being sick in the hospital yesterday, before he passed. Later I look up these references. These verses seem just as much for Papa in his last moments as for us now dealing with our loss:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
But now, this is what the Lord says – He who created you, Jacob, He who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior….. ” (Isaiah 43:1-3)
The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
My Reflections:
I wake up in a fog, the phone is ringing and I have to remind myself Papa is gone; really gone… it wasn’t just an awful dream I had last night. I look at my phone still ringing and see who it is. I answer it.
My friend on the other line is kind of surprised I picked up, and I tell her I wouldn’t have picked up for just anyone, but she’s a fellow member of the DPSG and I know she gets it. I guess now I’m officially a member too. We don’t talk long, she just wants to tell me she’s praying and she cares and I know she does. And I appreciate that she’s called.
She’s not the only one that reaches out today. There are many others.
Friends and family members reach out via texts:
- Oh Kari, I am so sorry. Let me know if there is anything you need. I love you.
- Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and praying for peace for your family. I’m sure you feel like you are waking up in a different world today. If there is anything you need know I am more then willing to help (my least favorite thing ppl would say to me but I truly mean it).
- Sending from my heart with the passing of your father. How can we help?
- I just read your email. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Let me know if I can do anything for you.
- Kari, there are no words to express how sorry I am for your pain & your sorrow. I just want you to know, I am beside you, you can lean here. When you are too sad to pray, know I am lifting you up; I am speaking the name of Jesus over you, I am asking for your comfort. You are not alone.
- Dear Kari, J, and boys, just read the news about Papa’s passing. We are so very sorry!! Praying for all of you. Will leave [ ] first thing tomorrow morning. Much love and our deepest sympathy.
My life-long friend also texts me:
I know things are crazy but call me when you get a chance. No rush.
I call her and she tells me she’s coming; getting a cross-country flight and coming to help out. She’s got kids and husband and job and she’s dropping everything to “be there,” be here, for me. I know this is no small thing for her, but she won’t let me argue. She’s always been more like a sister to me than a friend, she’s close to my parents too, she knows what it’s like to lose a dad and her willingness to come means so very much.
Two hours later I get a text with a screen shot of her flight schedule and a message that reads,
See you [next week].
At some point, late morning, I head down the stairs, still feeling numb, in a haze, life surreal. I peek down the basement steps to see J (who’s taken the day off work) with C Bear, playing choo-choo trains. My heart warms at the sight; such a good daddy my boys have.
A short time later, Nana arrives as I’m planting flowers along the front walk; the same flowers that have been sitting on our front steps for almost a month now.
They used to look like this.
And now look like this… just a little worse for wear.
There’s life yet in those weary blooms and today seems like a pretty darn good day to be planting them.
So plant ’em I do.
As I’m planting and chatting with Nana, a friend drops by with lunch for our family – salads and sandwiches and sweet treats from Panera Bread (and we heartily enjoy it all).
Later another friend drops by with homemade butternut squash soup.
And later yet another friend brings butternut squash soup that she’s made for us too.
(In case you didn’t know, butternut squash soup = perfect comfort food).
We definitely feel the love and our hearts are warmed by the kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness of so many.
In the midst of the goings-on of the day, I can’t help but snap a pict as I take in a smile from my baby boy:
And I’m reminded how life carries on. How even in the wake of tears & loss, there can still be joy in these small, precious moments.
Because life is precious.
And at times like this, you realize that to a deeper degree than ever before.
Tonight Nana & I will pick up Mark and his family from the airport. And when we arrive back at our place, there’ll be plenty of butternut squash soup for all; and it’ll feel good to have us all together, even though Papa’s presence is sorely lacking. Good just to be together, and have one another’s support as we sort through this time and the days to come.
Emails: (from family and friends)
Hi Kari,
My heart was heavy when I received the news about your dad. He was a very special man. Your mom and I taught Sunday school together at church and I always loved the way your dad came to get your mom at the end of the hour. It seemed very sweet to me!
Please know that my family will be praying for yours in these days and weeks ahead. Give your mom a tight hug from me until I can give it to her myself 🙂
I am so sorry. I loved your Dad dearly.
We are so grateful to have been blessed by knowing [Papa] and to have been able to spend time with him [this past spring]. What an amazing man he was. Although we feel a sense of loss, and we grieve with you, we also look forward to seeing him again. What a blessed hope we have!
We love you and are praying that the Lord will comfort your hearts and those of your loved ones.
Such a wonderful man. He will always have a place in my heart.
He was not just a brother-in-law to me, but a good and trusted friend, as good as a blood brother. I will miss him greatly – his clear mind, his good counsel, his sense of humor, his family leadership and his love.
Have so many wonderful memories with him.
Always remember a great big smile on his face. He never seemed to be in a rush, but enjoyed being around people; taking time to talk with and listen to them.
Such a blessing to all of us.
[Papa] was a wonderful man, spent his life in a worthy way, and was a huge blessing to us for these past 30+ years that we have known him personally. It was always a delight to spend time with him.
A hero and inspiration to me.
He was a great man, a wonderful friend, and an inspiration to us all. We all admired him for his righteous ways, for his clear thinking, and for his unwavering dedication to everything he was touching.
Heaven has one more really great man!!
I imagine him looking at us from heaven, smiling and tearful. And wanting to tell us a story or offer an encouraging and wise word.
… [Papa] was a true giant in providing love and care both for his family and the extended family. Far more than anyone else, he donated a great time to our genealogy. Also, when I arranged our family get-togethers, [Papa & Nana] always managed to attend…. Especially in the last twenty years, I have had the pleasure of extended telephone visits with [Papa] and have become more aware of his significant talents and caring disposition. He will be greatly missed by many.
He was a very capable, good and decent man, and I liked him very much.
63 Goodbyes 