Nana’s Notes:
Papa didn’t sleep well during the night. Very tired, wanted to lay in bed.
Had therapy at 1 PM and therapist said he did well. Papa said it was not as good as yesterday.
I don’t know if he is tired because he is discouraged or discouraged because he is tired.
He’s discouraged at progress; thinks it won’t get better, saying “It has been very miserable, up & down. Some make success. Right now I’m looking at God’s sovereignty; I’m not giving up yet, but maybe God has for me – a lot of people…. some believe there is no God, but I’m looking more & more that God is loving. I feel now that God will leave me this way & take me home. That is a possibility, but I don’t know.”
Said he was miserable today, lousy.
Email: (from Nana to Papa’s siblings)
Hi,
I think Larry is beginning to adjust to the rehab. It has been a hard week for him, of course–a hard two weeks since the surgery. At first he just wanted God to take him HOME-to heaven. He indicated yesterday that he is willing to work with this and accept whatever is God’s will (I think).
He is working with the therapists and is progressing. He is moving himself around in the wheelchair with his feet and doing a good job. He seems to be enjoying that bit of independence (only going where he is directed to go). Now that his bowels have been cleaned out and he is getting a little stronger he is feeling better. He is not eating very much, but they are feeding him through his stomach feeding tube. He is not sleeping very well, but at least he is resting well. He is in better spirits.
He wants me to talk to each one of you about God’s sovereignty and free will, but it is easier to do this joint email. I have a hard time understanding what he means most of the time. At first I thought he wanted me to ask each of you what you thought about his attitude of wanting to forget this whole thing and just go to heaven. But now I think it is wanting to know what you believe about what I said in the first sentence of this paragraph. He said he doesn’t just want to know what you think, but what scripture says about whether, or how much, God is in control of our lives. His questions are:
1. Does God have anything to do with what happens to us?
2. Is it that God has a will and wants to make sure we know what it is? He has it all planned out ahead of time and we have no say in it?
3. Man has no decision? God’s will will be done so don’t try to change it? Or, God wants you to make your own decisions?
Larry has talked about this a lot for years, not just now. He really wants to understand it. He did say, as I was leaving yesterday, that he doesn’t know God’s will and ask me if I did. I said no. So he said we have to pray about it. This is all huge on his mind. At least he doesn’t seem to want to just die as he did before. He loves all of you very much!
I hope this makes some kind of sense to you. Pray I will be able to understand what he is saying and thinking. His speech has gotten a little better each day this week. Praise God! But we have a long way to go. We joke ( though it is no joke) that we never have been able to communicate well and now we have an excuse!
Love, Papa & Nana
My Reflections:
Nana visits Papa in rehab and takes this photo of him….
Funny how you’d never know what Papa’s endured from seeing this photo. It’s good to see his smile.
And I spend the day at home with my boys….
There’re pancakes to be made,
Projects to be painted,
Nana’s mac & cheese leftovers to be enjoyed (much to the delight of her grand boys),
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Chess matches to be played (and I’m so glad Cole is willing to give it a-go against Jake because I certainly don’t have the mental stamina for it right now!),
And naps to be had (Little M doesn’t seem to mind having food on his face either – he and Papa make a good team right now).
63 Goodbyes 