Nana’s Notes:

I stayed at Kari’s last night – made brownines for Papa.  The speech therapist suggested we bring things to him to eat that he likes because he is still not eating well.  Doesn’t have an appetite.  He takes two or three bites of each thing & that is it.  They give him nourishment through his tube.

Papa needs 50-75% help with each thing.  He does feed himself, but they want him monitored.  They walked with him about ten feet yesterday, but “it wasn’t pretty,” the therapist said.  His right side is still weak.  I pray he works with them and believes he will get better!

Kari here [this afternoon].  Papa talked again about “is it worth it?”  Wants to go to heaven.  “Is God in control of everything?”  “We have choices,” he said.  Wants me to talk to family about what he said.

He went to group psychology; two other men were there waiting for the therapist and Papa talked to them, asking them what happened to them, etc.  Talked a lot, telling them about his situation.  The psychologist encouraged the group (5 guys) to get to know one another and encourage each other in the gym.  There were guys there with helmets on and Papa asked them why they wore them, asked them if it was temporary.  Was told it was due to too much pressure on their brains, so part of their skulls are missing.  Only skin is protecting their brain [currently] and part of their skulls are in the freezer awaiting replacement.

One of the guys said, “You have no choice [but to work hard].  If you don’t walk out of here, you limp out of here.”

Hopefully Papa will pay attention!

He moved himself in his wheelchair there & back for the psychology group.  Not too far down the hall, using his feet, no hands.

I wrote out for Papa the conversation I had with Mark on the phone [last night] so he could read it:

I talked to Mark about what you said about it not being worth it & you just wanted to go to heaven.  He said you are being selfish.  “We still want you around.  If you give up, you are not being a good witness.  A bad attitude doesn’t glorify God.  It sounds like you are telling God what to do rather than letting Him tell you.  Even though I am [a grown man], you are still an example to me and you need to be a good one. Grow a pair!  Be a man!  If you get well and do well, I won’t have to buy two of the most expensive one-way tickets I can find for you to pay for!  We still have more places to go [when we visit you] that I have seen on the food channel and by then they might even taste good to you.”

(quote and composition by Mark)

My Reflections:

I visit Papa again at rehab.  And he’s talking A LOT.  As in so much that it’s absolutely exhausting to try to absorb all that he’s trying to say.  I nod a lot and try to remember what the ER doc said about not pretending you know what he’s saying when you don’t.  But it’s hard to ask him to repeat and to clarify when he just keeps talking.  And talking.  And talking.

They (the doctors) say this is normal for brain injury as the brain is healing.  It’s strange to think of Papa as having a brain injury, but in the growth and removal of Papa’s cancerous tumor, that is exactly what has happened:  his brain has been injured; and now it needs time to heal and to recover.

There’s one thing Papa is trying to get through to Nana & I and we work hard to understand.  Something about knowing God’s will in all of this.  And he wants Nana to email all of his siblings and ask them to give their insights about this, with Bible verses to back it up… nothing like giving your siblings a little homework.

Papa gets tired, as he often does late in the afternoon, and Nana & I say our goodbyes so he can get some rest.  And I have to admit that I’m ready for a rest myself.

If no one says one solitary word for the next hour or two, I’d be totally fine with that.  

Listening sure can be exhausting!