Email: (from a friend to me)

Hey Kari, 

I wish I did have some trick to make it easier on you.  It is really hard to find the balance between wanting to spend time with your Dad and your family.  I can’t say I handled things perfectly but I just handled it the way you said you are…one day at a time.  You know this is going to be a short season in your life and you need to do what you feel is best for your dad (and you).  Lord willing things will end up differently for you then they did for me.  But at least looking back I will never regret one time I went to see my dad and you know what no one remembers the month that I didn’t make dinner or that our house wasn’t clean.  Once he gets moved to rehab that will be a little easier on you.

 

My Reflections:

The house is a mess.  Before I leave for the hospital yet again, I take a moment to tackle the entryway to create some semblance of order; somewhere.  I even text J a photo – cause it feels like such an accomplishment and I know he’ll appreciate it:

For some reason I feel the need to take a photo of our “Summer Fun List” too, not for J, but for me:

It’s the list of all the fun things I wanted to check off with the boys this summer; water games, lemonade stands, crafts, science experiments, special excursions….. It’s the list with far less check marks than I was hoping for.  It’s the list that’s getting mostly ignored due to far more pressing matters.

Those pressing matters include Papa, of course, and right now he takes precedent over checking off boxes of fun memories with my boys.  Hopefully there will be plenty of time for that yet to come.  I’m just not sure there will be plenty of time with Papa yet to come.  And that’s why I get in the car today and take the long ride to visit Papa at the hospital.

But I don’t want to just visit with Papa; I also want to give Nana some much needed air and a few moments off hospital grounds. A dear family friend has sent Nana & me a card of encouragement along with a gift card to Chili’s.  Today seems like a good time to make use of it.  Nana hasn’t left Papa’s bedside since his surgery, except for quick runs to the cafeteria, mostly for take-out.  Not that I can blame her for not taking a break.  Doctors are coming and going at all times of the day; there’s no set schedule and Nana certainly doesn’t want to miss them.  They come to give reports and updates and therapy and if Nana or I aren’t there, they’ll just be reporting to Papa, which gets tricky considering his communication difficulties.

So when I arrive at the hospital, I’m able to convince Nana to go.  And we do go out, and it’s good to escape even for just a little while.  And I don’t think we miss too much while we’re away.  Nana is such a trooper, she’s taking this all so valiantly, sleeping on a hospital pull-out bed, being ever-the-encourager for Papa in his cantankerous state, diligently taking notes of the reports from Papa’s doctors, and doing her best to keep family and friends updated (Papa has always been the “chief emailer” in the house, Nana gladly avoiding computer usage as much as possible…  but as present circumstances necessitate, she’s venturing into the world of online communication and slowly, but surely, getting the hang of it).  She’s tired, but never complaining, jumping in with both feet and just doing what needs to be done to best support Papa.  Definitely very tangibly living out her’s & Papa’s wedding vows “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

But we’re definitely not focusing on the last part of those vows just yet.

 

Nana’s Notes:

Doctor in – says the neurologist says Papa’s platelets are low so he needs a blood transfusion so there will be no bleeding in the brain.

Nurse said Papa is “lucky” because Red Cross had one pint of platelets – that was all they had.  She is flushing the line in his arm in preparation for giving them to him when they come.  She is very knowledgeable & proficient.  I’m praying the platelets will come before her shift ends in 20 minutes.  She worked hard at finding a good place to put a new port in his arm since his arms are a bruised mess, the left one perhaps with phlebitis.  

The platelets came 15 minutes before the nurse’s shift ended.

He was put on oxygen tonight.

He watched Jeopardy & Wheel of Fortune & O’Reilly.   Papa interested & alert.

Slightly elevated temp – 99 degrees, so they gave him Tylenol.

 

Email: (from me to Papa’s siblings)

Didn’t plan to give another update till we got the pathology report back…. and am currently finding myself frustrated and even a bit angry for things being in such a state to necessitate an update before that.  In my frustration, I am only deeming this as “Update #2.5,” saving “Update #3” for the pathology news, for which I’d already, apparently, planned (not as if I’m trying to hold onto any semblance of control in this or anything…..).

Was at the hospital for a good part of the day…. was hoping to see a bit of improvement today, as the doctors had indicated might be the case.  Instead, Dad was even more tired, uncomfortable, easily-frustrated and making less sense than before.  For the most part, he wanted to rest and not be bothered.  His right side seemed even weaker than before.  I felt like he’d aged 15 years since this ordeal began.  When my mom brought up her concern over his lethargic state with one of the doctors, we were reassured that this was “normal” for all he’d been through with the surgery.

Shortly after I arrived home from the hospital this evening, Mom called to tell me that she’d just been informed that Dad needed a blood transfusion because of low platelets.  She also said that the swallowing video that had been taken this morning showed possible aspirating and that the doctors were recommending a feeding tube to help avoid this.  Mom was told that his was a silent type of aspirating, meaning it could be happening when Dad eats/drinks without giving us signals that it’s happening.  Dad’s oxygen levels were also found to be a bit low and his temp was slightly elevated (from 98 to 99).

Soooooo…..

– Dad got a blood transfusion around 7 PM tonight

– a feeding tube is planned to be inserted tomorrow morning

– Dad was put on oxygen

– Tylenol was administered to help keep his temp under control

The good news (yes, there is some good news after all that!) is that when I talked to Mom again around 9 PM, she said dad was sitting up & watching TV & more alert than he’d been all day.  So, we’re taking this moment by moment and rejoicing in the good (& holding our breath a bit with the not-so-good).  Trusting Dad in God’s hands…. easier said than done at times, but we know God can handle this far better than we can!

Anyway, wanted to let you know the latest in dad’s saga, and will save the mass-emailing for when we have a better feel for what’s going on.  Just want to keep you up to speed with the latest (hoping this gives you a clearer picture for what’s going on so you’re not left wondering, but am also hoping this doesn’t add undue stress to the situation).  Let me know if you’d prefer the “just the facts” abridged version, or the “good news only” updates, and I’ll do my best to oblige.